Before my husband and I were married, during our early stages of dating, we were both nervous about the idea of my having to interact with his son (my now stepson) for the first time. Courtship and romance are not quite the same when a teenager is part of the package. As I am with anything new, I was all in, positive, optimistic and, if I'm being honest, unrealistic. I was going to be the cool girlfriend that the kid would like! I would find a common ground, establish a connection, he my witty and spontaneous self, then BOOOOM! Instant bond. I have been teaching teenagers for years...I should've known better.
One evening, to break the ice, my husband (boyfriend) put Logan on the phone without asking either of us first. He's a "throw 'em in, sink or swim" kinda guy. Logan and I both awkwardly said hello, and there was an even more awkward silence. Finally we got around to a discussion about Avengers. He asked who my favorite was. " That's really an unfair question," I replied, "because who can choose between Captain America and Iron Man!?" In his excitement, forgetting that he was not, by default, supposed to like me, he yelled, "I my GOSH! That's what I always say!" I smiled my cat...canary smile and in my head heard the BOOOOM - instant connection, no waiting! Captain America may just be a good looking man in a tight costume, but he just saved the day! But Captain America never had to deal with a 13 year old boy from a broken family...
Please read tomorrow for the "I'm 13 not 3" Incident.
Blessings and Peace,
Michelle
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
God knows why and He ain't tellin'
Well it makes sense to start by explaining just how I got here. No one gets married the first time thinking, "this is just my trial run. The next time around I'll be 40 and throw myself into the dating scene to see what I can get." Sadly, planned or not, this is often where we find ourselves at 30, 40, even 50 or older. We end up alone for a number of different reasons at an age where many of our friends and former school mates are celebrating ten or twenty year anniversaries. We likely, as in my case, haven't been out on the dating scene since people still used pagers and cell phones were too big to fit in anyone's back pocket. The internet was something you HAD to use mostly at work or school, begrudgingly, because it made UFO noises and took 9 years to connect. Am I painting a picture that you can identify with? Even if I'm not yet, stay with me. I've only just begun.
So, a babe in the woods as far as the current dating scene, but a not-so-young-and-fresh 40+, you bravely take up your baggage and embark on what everyone tells you is a "new journey," or a "new and exciting chapter/season/adventure (insert other well-meaning euphemism here)." Whether it's internet dating, expanding your social network circle, or letting others "fix you up," you tell yourself it's your obligation to yourself to get out there. You probably have your own story to insert here about the plot of this so-called adventure; or maybe you are still living it. For the purpose of getting to the rest of the story, suffice to say you have to kiss a few jack@$$3$ before you find a stallion.
When I met mine, courtesy of Christian Mingle, he came with something many second timers come with - a teenager! It's important to mention that I do not have any children from my first marriage. And, while I have helped raise many children as a high school teacher, a mentor, a much older sister, and an aunt, none of those prepared me for my stepson, Logan. I have been a stepchild and have now had one for about a year - compunded by the fact that he is a teenage boy.
So, why the blog? Well, I have something important to share now. I hope to candidly share what I have done and am doing that works, doesn't work, needs to be tweaked, etc. I hope through my triumphs, pitfalls, and try-overs, to give you a place to find advice, identify with mistakes, even share your own experiences. So I'm here, reader, are you out there? Are you listening?
Happy Living,
Michelle
So, a babe in the woods as far as the current dating scene, but a not-so-young-and-fresh 40+, you bravely take up your baggage and embark on what everyone tells you is a "new journey," or a "new and exciting chapter/season/adventure (insert other well-meaning euphemism here)." Whether it's internet dating, expanding your social network circle, or letting others "fix you up," you tell yourself it's your obligation to yourself to get out there. You probably have your own story to insert here about the plot of this so-called adventure; or maybe you are still living it. For the purpose of getting to the rest of the story, suffice to say you have to kiss a few jack@$$3$ before you find a stallion.
When I met mine, courtesy of Christian Mingle, he came with something many second timers come with - a teenager! It's important to mention that I do not have any children from my first marriage. And, while I have helped raise many children as a high school teacher, a mentor, a much older sister, and an aunt, none of those prepared me for my stepson, Logan. I have been a stepchild and have now had one for about a year - compunded by the fact that he is a teenage boy.
So, why the blog? Well, I have something important to share now. I hope to candidly share what I have done and am doing that works, doesn't work, needs to be tweaked, etc. I hope through my triumphs, pitfalls, and try-overs, to give you a place to find advice, identify with mistakes, even share your own experiences. So I'm here, reader, are you out there? Are you listening?
Happy Living,
Michelle
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